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Fans know Mark Hall as the talented lead singer for worship band Casting Crowns. But he wasn't always the confident performer you see on stage. In fact, Mark spent years feeling like one of life's big losers. He traces those feelings way back to third grade, when he overheard a school counselor tell his mom, "He's not keeping up. We're not sure what's the matter."

After a series of tests for disabilities, school specialists learned that Mark had dyslexia (a learning disorder that affects reading ability) and attention deficit disorder. His parents placed him in classes for students with learning disabilities.

"As I got older I started realizing I was different," Mark says. "I saw I was in the classes that everybody made fun of, so I never told anyone I was in them."

During junior high and high school, Mark hid and waited until the halls were clear before going to his special classes so no one saw what room he entered. Although he was in separate classes almost all day, even his best friend didn't know Mark's secret.

"That's when Satan started whispering to me that I was small and weak," Mark says. "Any time I felt God was leading me to do something, it was as if this little voice said, 'Look, if you try this, they're all going to find out.' Satan convinced me to keep quiet and not try bigger things. It worked. I was an adult before I admitted having dyslexia."

When he was 21, Mark went to a conference where a speaker told his testimony about being dyslexic. Mark couldn't believe it. Why is he telling these people this? He thought. No one is going to listen to him now! But suddenly he felt God telling him that people were listening to the speaker because of his struggles. Mark realized that he didn't need to be perfect—just willing to let God use him.

"He doesn't choose people who are 'good enough' to do his work," Mark says, "but those who will listen." Mark now feels that God is using him—weaknesses and all—to speak through Casting Crowns about what he's learned.

"The little inadequacies that scare me don't bother God," Mark says. "I'm often reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9. God's strength is made perfect in our weakness."

Copyright © 2004 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Life magazine.
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