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Q. What does it take to let a girl know you like her, and then get her to like you back? I've tried and tried to show a girl that I like her, but it just doesn't seem to work.

A. I don't know what you've tried, so it's difficult for me to say why things haven't worked out. My guess is that, if you've "tried and tried," you have succeeded in showing your interest. You just haven't succeeded in the second step, getting her to like you back. I can't recommend any magic words or expensive colognes that will send her flying into your arms. But here are three things to keep in mind as you try to capture this girl's attention:

1. Girls like guys who show an interest in them. Try asking questions to find out her interests, her ideas. And listen to her answers!
2. Girls like guys who are thoughtful. Try remembering when she has a test, where she goes on vacation, when she has her next ballgame.
3. Girls like guys who have a life. Try volunteering, joining a club, organizing a game of ultimate Frisbee—and invite the girl to join you. You might notice that all three of these steps go hand–in–hand with friendship. So instead of plotting out how you are going to show your affections and get her to like you, set your goal on being her friend and don't worry so much about romance.

Due to the volume of mail, Tim cannot answer every letter.

Copyright © 2005 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Life magazine.
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