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My Friend Won't Eat
Jim Burns answers your questions


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Q. I think my friend has an eating disorder. For a few months, she's avoided eating out with us, and at school she always says she's full. I haven't seen her actually eat in a long time. She exercises constantly and often talks about how gross most food is. When I comment about her eating habits, she assures me there's no problem. What can I do?

A. The behaviors you list could all be danger signals of anorexia. Other common signs include: obsessing over food's fat content and calories, feeling fat and detesting their bodies. Another common eating disorder is bulimia. Bulimia is generally identified when a person binges on food and then throws up before digesting. Either disorder can happen to guys or girls.

Eating disorders are very destructive. Without proper food, neither our minds nor bodies work well. Depriving ourselves of what we need is neither respectful of our bodies nor of the Creator who made them. In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Paul says, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body" (NIV).

It sounds like you've told your friend you've noticed her unhealthy eating habits. I'm not surprised she denied there's a problem; she may not even realize there is one. Without accusing, make sure she understands you're concerned because she is hurting herself. Don't focus on making her eat, but on helping her see she needs help.

If nothing improves, you should tell your parents, your youth pastor or a school counselor. This isn't a secret you can keep. Click here for phone help lines, books and websites where you or your friend can turn for help.

There's more you can do to help your friend. Basically, be there for her. Just listen. Care for her. Also, ask her to pray with you about her struggle. If she's not comfortable with doing that, then let her know you're praying for her.

Click here to read the story of Josh. Thanks to the love and support of friends and family, he overcame anorexia and bulimia. I think you'll find this story encouraging. With God's guidance, you can help your friend find hope and healing from this hurtful disorder.




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