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Q. Sometimes, my friends ask how far I've gone sexually with a guy. I always say that I haven't done much, but that's not true. Before I became a Christian, I was sexually active. But that's not who I am now. I'm worried that my friends will turn on me if they find out about my old life. I know I'm not supposed to worry about the past, but I don't know what I should do if friends I don't know very well ask me about this.

A. I want to tell you how amazing you are. It's not easy to turn your life around and live for God. It isn't easy to put away your old life and embrace a new one. But the fact that you've done it tells me you're a strong girl with a solid trust in God's power to heal us and help us start over.

You're right when you say you're a new person. There's a great story in the book of Acts about a guy named Saul. He was a religious man, but he didn't like the rumblings of the new Christians roaming around town. So he persecuted them, arrested them, and put them in jail. Then, one day as he was traveling, he met Jesus and turned his life over to God. Everything changed, even his name—Saul became Paul. (You can read his story in Acts 22:1-21.)

Paul knew what it was like to regret the choices he'd made in his old life, to live with the consequences of his old ways. But he also knew the immense power of God's grace and mercy. He was a forgiven man and he lived like it. Paul's story shows what can happen when God grabs someone and changes his life. That's your story, too.

With all that said, it is a little tricky to know exactly how to talk about your past. You have put it behind you and been forgiven. And maybe there will be a time when it seems like talking about your past could help someone or give them hope in the midst of their own pain. I used to be terribly ashamed of things I did in the past, but as I've gotten older, I've found that God can redeem even my worst mistakes. My story has allowed me to talk with girls like you in order to help them find the healing I've found. But it took me quite awhile to be able to talk with others about my past. So don't feel like you need to tell acquaintances anything you don't want to.

You don't need to lie to your friends or pretend to be someone you aren't. But you can say something like, "I did things I'm ashamed of and I don't like to talk about them. I'm not that person anymore and I'm more interested in what God has for me in the future." Your true friends will respect your need for privacy.

Stay strong. Live by God's love and grace. And never forget that God is at work in your life.

Carla is an editor of the Teen Devotional Bible (Zondervan).

Copyright © 2007 by the author or Christianity Today International/Ignite Your Faith magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Ignite Your Faith.

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