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Q. I like a guy and all my friends know it. The problem is that my best friend likes to flirt a lot, especially with the guy I like. I don't know why she does this. What should I do or say?

A. Every girl I know has a flirty friend. And that can be hard to handle. On the one hand, you love your friend. But on the other hand, she's doing something that hurts you, whether she means to or not. That means something needs to change.

It sounds like you've talked to her about this, at least a little bit. But if she's not changing her behavior, it's time for another conversation.

This time, you'll need to be extremely clear about how you feel. Tell her that you're confused about why she flirts with someone she knows you like. As you end the conversation, you need to be specific about what it is she does that bugs you.

She might not be able to completely stop her flirting. Some girls are naturally friendly, charming and giggly, and it can seem a lot like flirting. Some people flirt with people of the opposite sex—even people they're not really interested in—because they just get nervous and don't know what to talk about.

Hopefully your friend will do her best to pull back a bit. Now if she doesn't, well, you've got some things to think about. If your friend is intentionally doing something hurtful you've asked her not to do, then maybe she's not as good a friend as you thought she was. You might need to reassess this friendship.

But if you see her making changes, or even trying to, hopefully that will be enough to save your friendship.

Carla is an editor of the Teen Devotional Bible (Zondervan).

Copyright © 2007 by the author or Christianity Today International/Ignite Your Faith magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Ignite Your Faith.

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