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Q: I messed up. When I was 15, I had sex with my girlfriend, and I then cheated on her with another girl. I'm now 18. I gave my life to God last year, and he's changed me. I would never go back to how I was. Now I'd like to ask out a friend who's always been strong in her faith. She knows my past and doesn't hold it against me, but I feel pretty worthless next to her. She deserves so much better than me. How do I get over these feelings of inadequacy?

A: I think most girls would be honored to go out with a guy who has the strength to turn his life around. You've made a change that very few people have the courage or humility to make. And you're ready to live differently because of the power of Christ. That's a lot to be proud of and thankful for.

Still, I know it can be hard to believe you're worth the love and care of someone you respect. This is perhaps one of the worst consequences of having sex outside of marriage—you don't feel like anyone will want you after what you've done. But don't underestimate your friend. If she knows your past and doesn't hold it against you, then you need to believe she means it. If she's someone you trust, then trust she won't see you as a guy who messed up, but as a guy who has done something incredible.

You also have to believe in the work God is doing in you. Psalm 103:12 says: "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us" (NIV). This was written by David, who knew a lot about sin. He messed up in nearly every way a person could mess up. So let his words give you comfort, too. Your past is in the past, and you are completely forgiven.

God has changed you and every time you focus on your past, you slow that change down a little. Let it go—God has, your friend has. It's time for you to move on, too.

Copyright © 2008 by the author or Christianity Today International/Ignite Your Faith magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Ignite Your Faith.

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