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Normal Childhood: After her parents divorced when she was 6 months old, new artist Stephanie Smith was raised by her Christian single mother. She didn't have any contact with her father. But she didn't feel like she was missing out on anything. She thought she had no need for her dad.

"After all, I had this incredible God-fearing mother who was like my best friend," she says. "She always told me my dad was a good man, but he wasn't capable of having a relationship with me. I'd pray for him and think about him, but I had such a close relationship with God and such wonderful Christian men in my life like my grandfather and my uncles. I didn't feel like I was missing anything."

Just a Dream: Stephanie daydreamed about her father often because she was told they were alike in many ways: artistically, in appearance, and even in clumsiness. But it wasn't until she was 13—at her great-grandmother's funeral—that Stephanie actually got to see him face-to-face.

"When he walked in, it was like looking in the mirror," she says. "In his first words to me, he called me Priscilla. Even though I knew he was really nervous, I was so hurt and broken."

The worst part, she says, is that he didn't call her to apologize or ask forgiveness like she hoped. In fact, he was gone from her life again.

Fighting Fear: After that brief but painful encounter with her father, Stephanie suddenly felt emotions she didn't even know were there. The tremendous pain, loss and brokenness of her parents' divorce came crashing down on top of her. She felt hurt, betrayed and abandoned.

In fact, Stephanie became terrified by the idea of marrying someday because she saw the hurt and pain it could lead to. She saw how children could be affected by it. Depression and fear plagued her. Her grades plummeted. She began putting on weight. She saw a counselor for help.

 "Through prayer and Scripture, God began to show me that he had a plan for my life," she says. "I felt him saying that if I got married someday, it wouldn't end like my parents'."

My Choice: As God began to heal Stephanie's heart over several years, he also showed her that she had a choice. She could choose to forgive her father and be set free or carry that heavy load on her shoulders for the rest of her life. At 19 she made that choice. She contacted her father and told him she forgave him.

"God basically said, 'You can either carry this hurt, or you can release it and lay it at my feet,'" she says.

"I chose to release it."

Copyright © 2008 by the author or Christianity Today International/Ignite Your Faith magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Ignite Your Faith.

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