I'm Too Shy to Talk to Her

How can I find the courage to pursue a girl I like?
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Q There's a girl at my church I'd really like to get to know better. The problem is, I'm kinda shy. I've been writing letters to her, but I think she's getting tired of that. How do I get the courage to talk to her?

A I congratulate you on showing enough courage to write to her. Lots of people never get that far. Evidently, she knows you like her, and since she's been reading your letters, she may be open to getting to know you better. But the problem still remains: How do you open your mouth and talk to her?

There is no quick cure, only gradual improvement. You have to overcome your shyness in small doses. Start with a question. Ask her something like, "What's your favorite sport?" "What did you do over the summer?" "Who's your toughest teacher?" Get one question out and listen to her answer. Then, answer the questions for yourself. Before you know it, you've had a conversation. If she wants to keep talking, great. If you're still too shy to say more, just say, "I'll see you later. Take care of yourself," and go on your way.

In other words, you don't have to have a heart-to-heart talk right away. The main thing is to make progress. Small, simple exchanges will help you to get comfortable. And doing this will let her know you have a voice after all!

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