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Q. I've been going to the same church all my life. Last Sunday I visited a new church with an awesome focus on youth. I liked it so much, I want to join the church. I think being there would help me grow in Christ, but I feel like I'm betraying my old church and the people there who've believed in me. Is it wrong to change churches?

A. It's not wrong to change churches, but you don't want to do it too quickly. Even though your old church doesn't have the energy this new church has, it sounds like it is home to you. I would only leave it after careful consideration, lots of prayer and time.

I'd suggest you try to go to both churches for a while. Share your concerns and thoughts with both pastors. Tell them what you like about each and ask for their advice. If your parents go to church with you, make sure you are seeking their advice and approval. It's just important to get input from people who care about you. The Bible says, "Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances" (Proverbs 11:14, The Message).

Remember that church membership is not about how entertaining the service is or how exciting their youth group is. Instead, the key is how you fit within the local body of believers. How does one church positively challenge you more than the other? What could you bring to each congregation? What do you gain from each? What gifts could you use in each church? If you prayerfully look at each church and how you'd fit into its family, you should be able to make a good decision.

Two more thoughts: 1) If you really feel called to this new church, then be very open about it with friends from your old church. Explain to them why you're leaving and stay in touch with them. 2) Don't put pressure on yourself to make the "right" decision. God does guide us to where he can best use us and mold us. But if we commit to living for him, he can also use us wherever we are.

Jim is an author, longtime youth worker and founder of HomeWord, a group seeking to honor God through strong families. Due to the volume of mail, Jim cannot answer every letter.

Copyright © 2005 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Life magazine.
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