Troubled by My Boyfriend's Past
Is it worth this struggle? That's up to you to decide. If you love each other enough, and if you love God enough, you'll risk everything to make your relationship what it ought to be. If not, chances are good that you'll keep on sleeping together and that you'll eventually break up and start the cycle of guilt and regret all over again. I hope and pray you'll make the best choices for both of you.
Forgive My Abuser?
Q: I was sexually abused by the pastor of the church I went to. He was put in jail for some time. He is now out of jail and on parole, living in a different state. I know he won't hurt me again, but I'm having a hard time forgiving him. I know you are not supposed to have unforgiveness in your heart, but I feel as though I do. I want to know how to forgive him for the awful things he did.
A: When something so terrible has happened, forgiveness can be a lifelong process. You may never completely lose the dreadful feelings you have toward him, but you can move steadily in the right direction. Just the fact that you want to forgive him reflects an act of God in your life, giving you grace.
I think it's extremely important to get help in the process. I'd suggest a woman counselor. You can ask your new pastor, your youth leader, Sunday school teacher, or any trusted Christian friend to help you find a female Christian counselor who can help you with forgiveness. If you don't have the money, many Christian counselors can help you anyway.