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Q. I just read a piece from your advice column, "Are We Meant to Be?" A guy liked a girl who had a boyfriend, and asked what to do. The answer basically said, "Live your life." Well, I am. I'm busy—I wrestle and am involved in other extracurricular activities—but still she's always in my thoughts. I dream about her, literally, every night, and the very thought of her fills me with happiness. Since living my life isn't helping, what should I do?

A. Actually, I think it is helping. Living your life doesn't mean you won't still feel something for this girl. It means you will feel other things as well. You will feel the joy of winning a match and the frustration of losing. You will feel the fun that comes with your extracurricular experiences and friendships. You might not recognize it right now, but you're letting your life be about more than one relationship with one girl. And that's what maturity is all about.

I know it's hard to have intense feelings for someone who doesn't return those feelings. But the goal of "living your life" isn't to make those feelings go away. It's to remind yourself that God created you to be a whole person with all kinds of interests and gifts and hopes for your future. I wish I had some secret advice that would make this girl suddenly care for you as much as you care for her, but that's just not how life—or love—works. Both of them are about knowing yourself better and discovering all the ways that God is at work inside you. So even though it might not be what you want to hear, I promise you that living your life fully really is the way forward into the life God has for you. 

Copyright © 2009 by the author or Christianity Today/Ignite Your Faith magazine.
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