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What a Bunch of Losers
Why were these guys coming to our youth group?
Fiction by Elesha Coffman


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Amanda!" my friend Stacey hissed. "Lip check!" She turned to me and smiled broadly so I could see if she had lipstick on her teeth.

"Your lipstick's fine, Stace, but what difference does it make? We've known all these guys since sixth grade."

"Not those guys," she said, tipping her head toward the back of the room. I tried to be discreet as I turned around to gawk.

Six guys were standing together just inside the door. One of them was Cory, a likeable guy who didn't go to my school. The other five I'd never seen before. They were joking around and trying to look cool.

"The tall one," Stacey said. "Cute, huh?"

"No, the blond," I replied. "I'm going to have to ask Cory about him."

After our youth pastor finished his talk about the sower—not the thread kind but the seed kind, he explained about 10 times—I migrated over to the corner where the mystery guys were huddled up. As usual, Stacey was there ahead of me, talking to the tall one.

"Going to introduce your friends, Cory?" I asked.

"Just some guys from school," he said. "Jeremy, Chad, Joe, Mike, and Will's over there with Stacey."

"Will likes Stacey," Mike said. He sounded like Adam Sandler.

"Will likes all the honeys," Chad sneered.

"He only really likes the ones with, you know," Joe added, with an unmistakable glance at my chest.

"OK then, um, nice to meet you guys," I said, edging away. "See you next week."

I shot Cory a look before walking out the door. What was he thinking, bringing these lowlifes to our youth group? The blond, Jeremy, hadn't said anything, so maybe there was still hope for him, but the rest of them just screamed trouble.

I waited in the hall for about five minutes before Stacey came out. Her eyes were wide. "Will has a kid in Ohio," she said.

"What?"

"A kid, in Ohio. He got some girl pregnant when he was visiting his dad last summer. He had a picture in his wallet."

Now my eyes were huge. "How, exactly, did this come up in conversation?"

"I don't know. He seemed proud of it. The kid looked adorable and all, but what did he expect me to say, 'Congratulations'?"

"Will's not so cute now, huh?"

"Ah, no. And I heard you saying you hoped to see them next week. I sure don't."

The guys did come back the next week. And the week after that. Sometimes only three or four of them would show up, but it was enough. Interruptions and inappropriate comments when our youth pastor was speaking. Loud, off-key singing during worship. Plus, Will kept bothering Stacey.

Finally, one week Cory showed up alone. I cornered him.

"So, where are your friends?" I asked sarcastically.

"Jeremy and Mike had a baseball game, and the other guys wanted to watch," he said.

"I guess they get to heckle someone else for a change," I scoffed.

"They're not used to church."

"Apparently not. Hey—does Will really have a kid? He told Stacey he does."

Cory stared at his shoes. "Probably. That's what he says. Sometimes he makes stuff up. I think the kid's real, though."

"Why do you hang out with those losers? Aren't there any Christians at your school?"


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