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I plopped down on the couch and looked around at all the people who had come to my youth group's Bible study. I went almost every week to the regular Sunday night meetings and didn't want to go to another church activity. But Kelly, my youth group leader and someone I really respected, told me it was important to take time to study the Bible. So I decided to give it a shot.

There were lots of new people and Kelly wanted us to get to know each other. She asked us each to talk about how we'd become Christians. When it was my turn, I shifted nervously in my chair, cleared my throat and began.

"I became a Christian when I was 9." I paused, feeling a lump form in my throat and my eyes fill with tears. "It was the year my mother died of breast cancer. … She was a Christian, but that didn't make it any easier."

No one moved or made a sound. So I wiped away my tears and just kept talking.

"Both my dad and grandpa were completely devastated. But they trusted God, and I wanted that same kind of trust."

When I finally stopped talking, I got a lot of hugs. I saw that Kelly had been crying, too. She'd known all about my mom. But what she didn't know, and what I didn't want to share with the others, was that even though my mom had died several years ago, I still didn't have peace about my mom's death. I often wondered how a loving God could take her away from me.

The following week, I went back to Bible study. Kelly started the night off by reading James 1:22: "Do not merely listen to the word. … Do what it says" (NIV).

As I listened I felt kind of guilty. I'd spent a lot of time reading the Bible, but it didn't mean that much to me. While I wasn't really a bad person, I know I didn't work that hard at applying God's Word.

"Let the Bible guide you," Kelly stressed. With that challenge, Kelly then asked each of us to do daily devotions. She said one of the best ways to do this was to have an accountability partner—someone who would make sure you were on track with your devos.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to make this kind of commitment. But Kelly volunteered to be my partner, so I agreed.

Kelly called me once a week to see if I was keeping up with my devos. As the weeks passed, we started having some deep talks about God and life.

One night, I told Kelly that I still struggled with my mom's death. She didn't say much, but mostly listened. She also assured me that God really loved me and wanted the very best for me. In a soft, gentle voice, she quoted Jeremiah 29:11: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'" (NIV).

That conversation with Kelly really helped me. It wasn't only Kelly's words that helped me feel God's love. The way she reached out and cared about me showed me just how much God loved me.

Throughout the year, I got really close to Kelly and everyone else in the Bible study. And as we all got to know the Bible and God better, I was able to come to peace with losing my mom. I no longer doubted that God loved me.

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