
Why They Struggle to Believe
posted 1/01/1997
 1 of 4

What goes through the mind of a contemporary spiritual seeker? While each person's spiritual journey is different, two rudimentary questions must be answered: "Who was Jesus Christ?" and "Were his claims true?" For most people today, answering those questions is a complex process. In August 1995, Paul Braoudakis, managing editor of WCA Monthly, the publication of Willow Creek Association, interviewed two couples attending Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois, who consider themselves spiritual seekers. Steve and Leigh Delisi, and Nathan and Mayumi Aaberg, are representive of many of the seekers encountering churches today. Hearing their questions and concerns directly gives us insight into the modern journey to faith in Christ.
What is your spiritual background?
Steve: I grew up with a strong Roman Catholic background. I was active in our church. I was a youth reader, and I worked at the priory, which is where the Dominican priests live. But I saw things I perceived as hypocritical, and it shook my faith.
Looking back, I never really made it a personal experience. I never stepped back and said, "Why is this what I believe? What's it all about?" I stopped doing any kind of organized religion or church and stayed that way through college and my first year of medical school.
Leigh: I grew up in a Baptist church, but I was confirmed a Methodist after we moved here from Florida. We went to church every Sunday, and I did vacation Bible school every summer. I had an undeveloped, gut-feeling faith that I couldn't really explain. Once I left home for college, I never went to church.
Nathan: I grew up in the Missouri-Synod Lutheran denomination and attended a Lutheran grade school, high school, and junior college. I'm not sure whether my faith ever really disappeared, but eventually I realized there had to be some re-evaluation of what I believed rather than just accepting what I grew up with. That has been a slow process-there wasn't much urgency to it. Then I met Mayumi, and we got married. Some of the questions she asked created a lot more urgency because I couldn't answer them … and I still can't.
Mayumi: I came to the United States when I was about 7 years old with my mother and stepfather. He was Catholic, and his family was religious, but because of what he had to go through when he married my mother-a divorced woman-he became disillusioned and cynical.
My stepgrandparents would take me to church and enroll me in catechism classes. But because of the cynical feelings my parents had instilled in me, I began to question what was going on in the church. I never questioned if there was a God, but I was cynical about any form of organized religion. The whole issue of Christianity seemed egocentric, egotistical, and exclusionary of other cultures and other religions. I didn't think a true God could be that way.
But when I married Nathan, it became evident that somehow I needed to resolve that whole issue. The reason I'm pursuing it is because it's important to Nathan, and of course, it's important to me also.
Who is Jesus Christ to you?
Steve: I'm not sure. That's the clearest answer I can give. I am slowly building a belief of Christ as the Son of God and something other than the great prophets like Muhammad and Buddha. But I have yet to come to grips with the idea of a Savior.
Leigh: I believe Christ is the Son of God. But I'm not sure what it really means to say that, or that he came to save us from all of our sins. I don't really buy what I consider to be the mutually exclusive dichotomy that Christ had to come here, die on the cross, and that it's his blood that cleanses us. I have a real problem with that. Some people would say that means I'm not a Christian, but I tend to think I'm just a complex believer. I just don't think it's all that simple.
Mayumi: I think there is evidence that a person named Jesus existed. I don't refute that. The problem I have with Christianity is that they focus on Jesus as Christ rather than the message or the example he set. By focusing exclusively on Jesus, I think it excludes other religions and other people from having a relationship with God. That really bothers me. I'm not sure if Jesus Christ is at the same level as Mother Teresa, Gandhi, or Martin Luther King, but I think he was someone we should learn from. Right now I'm at the point where I'm just not sure how I feel about him as Christ … as God.
Nathan: I believe Jesus was the Son of God and that he was God on earth. He is a tremendous opportunity for us to see what a Godlike life would be. What Jesus offers by believing in him is a mystical, spiritual power that will hopefully help us live as close as we can to what God intended.
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