Several years ago our congregation said good-bye to one of its pastoral staff members who had been with us for less than a year.

From the beginning, the pastoral relationship was troubled. Within two weeks of her arrival, both she and the people with whom she worked expressed pain, anger, and disappointment. My feelings at her departure alternated between sadness and relief.

Unable to resolve the difficulties on our own, the church began to take sides and entrench positions. I asked our elders to hire a mediation team, consultants who specialize in church conflict. We needed help.

Here we go again?

The consultants turned out to be worth every penny (and we paid dearly for their help). They helped us focus on unhealthy behavioral patterns and conflicting leadership styles, not on personalities. They also engaged the conflict early enough so the difficulties remained specific to one ministry area; the conflict did not spread throughout the church.

The consultants uncovered some deep, systemic ...