Kevin and Sue had just moved from another state. Seeking a church, they had to rely on their own impressions rather than a friend's invitation.

After visiting one church, Kevin was enthusiastic. "The worship style is just like we enjoyed back home," he told Sue. "The message really spoke to me. And did you see the calendar? They have an active young couples group."

"Yeah," Sue agreed. "But didn't you notice that people hardly spoke to each other? I felt tension in the air. The message was good, but the pastor appeared strained. Only the ushers greeted us, and they were pretty grim. I'm not sure they really want new members right now."

Once she pointed out the signs, Kevin recognized them. He took seriously Sue's knack for discerning substantial issues through observation. Their search continued.

Churches that plan to attract and keep visitors must consider how women's perceptions and priorities differ from men's. A couple's decision to join a church is often based on the wife's impressions, ...