My Big Fat Greek Church Family
January 1, 2003
Can't you see it? In addition to a set of Kittel and a big fat Greek lexicon, seminary bookstores will soon be stocking economy-size bottles of Windex. Windex? Yep. If you can believe Hollywood, Windex may be what every pastor needs. Inspired by the smash movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, I think I'll stock up on a case of Gus Portokalos's universal cure-all. If Windex worked for Gus, maybe it'll take care of the panes in my ministry. Gus thought a spray or two of the blue liquid would deodorize foul air, heal an injured finger, or get rid of a zit. I haven't yet tried it on a certain deacon's fingers that are always poking where they don't belong, but I will. And I know a couple of zits I'd like to spritz. I'm also wondering if a well-aimed squirt will render Mrs. Talksalot mute for a month or two. Gus is my new ministry hero. I knew the family in the movie was like my own Greek family (Asimakou- poulos, remember?), but I've been surprised to learn how much they're like my big fat church family. Watching Gus has taught me a few tricks I'll try next Sunday. Like John MacArthur and David Jeremiah, the patriarch of the Portokalos clan believes that every word in our English vocabulary is best understood by examining its Greek origin. In spite of my ethnic background I've always been reluctant to incorporate koine into my preaching, but Gus has given me courage to try. When I call for the ushers to take the offering, I think I'll explain that "in the Greek," the word "offering" means "give till it hurts." And whereas we normally respond to the choir's anthem with a loud and unison "amen," I'll invite the congregation to stand, throw a hand into the air, and shout "Opa!" (In the Greek, "Opa!" like Windex, covers a multitude of sins and ...
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