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Home > Issues > 2003 > Summer > What's to Become of Tom?
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Let me tell you about a person I have not always liked. He is 20 years old, reasonably bright, friendly, and—when he wants—capable of influencing people. His name is Tom.

Until recently his life appeared to be unraveling. His parents, who live 2,000 miles away, are on the verge of divorce, and that's thrown him for a loop. I don't think he has the slightest idea of how much his crumbling family has hurt him. But those of us who know Tom are quite aware. We have worried for him.

Recently, Tom received a form letter from his university telling him that if he has one more semester like the last, he will be suspended from school. This I find perplexing because he has a better mind than that.

One of the reasons I have struggled to like Tom is because his character is defective. His work habits are poor, and he moves from job to job. Financially, he lives from day to day. His personal life is undisciplined, disorganized. He's a people-pleaser and often makes promises he does not keep. Result: people tend to be disappointed in him.

Having been brought up around church people, Tom knows the language and the appropriate behaviors of church people. But there is little about his Christian life that one would find compelling. Tom is not a bold sinner (his "testimony" is not worth a book); he certainly isn't a bold follower of Christ.

I keep wondering what is going to happen to Tom. I see versions of him every day. Do young people like Tom ever think about the future? Do they understand that choices have consequences? Will they ever settle down to steady relationships, to work that adds value to their generation, to faith that is durable and connected to vital issues?

But then, hey, I'm an old guy. What would you expect from me when I look at a younger generation? The older generation has always wondered about these things.

I want to be quick to say that I really admire the top 10-15 percent of young people I meet today. They are far sharper, more directionalized (a word I've made up), more enthusiastic than anyone I ever knew in my generation. But I must be candid: I sometimes worry about the lower 85 percent.

I see Tom in that 85 percent. I'm not always confident that our hustling-bustling churches with all their programs have what it takes to bring persons like Tom around. I could be wrong about this. But the subject needs more thought.

Now, if there's hope for Tom, who's about to launch into his third decade of life, it's going to come from five people who have taken interest in him. Two couples—one very young, the other much older—and a single older man. For reasons I don't understand, they have decided to like him. I keep wondering what they see that I do not see.

The campus workers


Take the younger couple. Staff-members of a parachurch organization, Verne and Marilyn recently came to the same university that is threatening to kick Tom out. For reasons never explained, they are fond of Tom, and they regularly welcome him into their lives. I suspected they'd dump him ...

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Gordon MacDonald is chancellor of Denver Seminary and editor-at-large for Leadership Journal. He is author of numerous books, including Going Deep: Becoming A Person of Influence.

Also in this Issue: Summer 2003

Pool Guy PastorSubscriber Access Only

Going to church like going swimming means different things to different people.

Currents Shaping My Church: War, Politics, and the PulpitSubscriber Access Only

How do you handle potentially explosive social issues when you know your congregation is not of one mind?

Gregg's Other LifeSubscriber Access Only

Would our fragile church survive if it learned the worship leader's tragic secret?

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Paul Pastor

October 04, 2013  9:08am

10 years later, this is remarkably relevant. Especially with recent debate about the state of the Millennial generation. A compelling path to maturity.

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