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David Murrow doesn't buy the idea that church is a men's club. While church leadership has remained dominated by males, he says that has done little to attract men to the larger church body. Murrow is the author of Why Men Hate Going to Church (Nelson, 2005).

Why are men turned off by the church?

Men don't do church very well. You have to be able to speak, read, and pray out loud in church culture, and the average man is not going to be as good at that as most women.

Secondly, we do almost nothing to try to attract men. We're constantly putting books in the hands of Christians telling them that the way to Christ is through a classroom experience and Bible studies. This whole idea of church as a "learning process" is going to attract more women than men.

On top of that, so much of the imagery used in the church is feminine. In the last fifty years, the dominant metaphor used to describe the Christian life has been "a personal relationship with Jesus Christ." Jesus' command was not to "have a personal relationship with me," but to "follow me." Men can handle that.

If the church has lost its masculine spirit, how has it been able to retain men in positions of authority?

The church is a weird animal. It's led by men, but populated predominantly by women. The spirit of a church when it is first founded is very masculine. But when a church becomes institutionalized, those masculine qualities become marginalized, so once a church is up and running, it begins to value more feminine gifts.

As a result, we have recruited a special type of man to lead most churches. We call him a pastor.

Pastors generally have to be nurturing and sensitive, but that's unlike most men. Studies have shown that men tend to be less verbal, less nurturing, less sensitive, less family-oriented. Yes, churches are run mainly by males, but the personality profiles of these men show that they are not usually typical males.

Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow Nelson, (2005)

What can churches do to reflect more of that masculine spirit?

Churches don't plan based on the needs of the 19-year-old male construction worker; they plan based on the needs of the young mother with two kids, a minivan, and a mortgage. I think the number one thing we can do is ask exactly that question, "What can we do to attract more men?" That's a question that hasn't been asked in the church in a hundred years.

When we start creating a space where a young construction worker can meet Jesus Christ, then I think we're doing what Jesus did. He loved women, and he cared for them deeply, but he didn't build his church on them, but on the young male "construction workers" of his day.

How do women respond to this male-centered approach to church?

People think that when the masculine spirit comes back into the church, women are going to be oppressed and horrified. They're not. Women, especially younger women, are drawn to the masculine spirit. They love it.

What are churches doing to attract men successfully?

When you find a church that is intentional about reaching men, you will usually see growth within that church.

There is a church in Arizona that wrote right into its constitution that men were going to be their primary outreach, and they've grown exponentially as a result.

One church in Peoria, Illinois, was started specifically to reach men. It is decorated with trophy bucks and camping equipment; the sermon is short, maybe nine or ten minutes long; and the pastor personally disciples a small group of men who are to go out and disciple other men in turn.

This church is doing it the way Jesus did it, and these men are sensing that this is something for them.

Copyright © 2006 by the author or Christianity Today International/Leadership Journal.
Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.

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