Leadership Journal

"You need to read a book called Broken by William Moyers," a woman said to me during a conversation about alcoholism. Her enthusiasm for the book was so impressive that, first chance I got, I downloaded it into my Amazon Kindle (an electronic reader) and began reading.

Of the writings on addiction and the lives of addicts, there is no end. But Broken will stand out among them. Even though I have several twelve-stepping friends, this book taught me more about the brutal power of addiction and the tough but workable way of recovery than I have learned from all of them.

Author William Cope Moyers is the son of the well-known journalist, Bill Moyers, once a top assistant to President Lyndon Johnson. Life as Bill Moyers' son meant access to the White House and exposure to the elite of the world. As Moyers describes his upbringing, hardly a door was ever closed to him.

Such privilege can be beneficial but also destructive. How do you find the self God created you to be while living in the shadow of such a famous and talented father? How do you know when people accept you for who you are and not because of your family name? How do you find your own way when others want to find your way for you? Drugs and alcohol are one way to deal with such questions if you find yourself unable to face them.

One day in his teen years, William Moyers was induced to try marijuana. "You should try this, man," a co-worker on a summer job said, handing him a joint. He did. And after a few tentative drags, Moyers writes, he was in "heaven."

"I was floating, and at the same time I felt firmly anchored in the most beautiful place on earth."

Moyers was never the same after that experience. Something in his mind simply exploded, and he was hooked. He went from an addict-in-waiting (genetic disposition perhaps?) to an addict-in-practice. From marijuana, it was a short journey to cocaine and finally to crack. This conversion all lubricated with ample quantities of alcohol.

In the next ten or twelve years, Moyers launched and threw away a marriage. He trashed a promising career. He forfeited the respect of friends and the trust of his family. Everything disintegrated! Want a description of the prodigal son in a pig sty? Moyers' provides it in terms of crack houses, prison cells, and closed psych wards.

Then there was the so-called "bottom," an addict's version of the biblical phrase, "when he came to himself." Soon Moyers found himself entering Hazelden—a foremost treatment center in Minnesota—where he began detox and the process of recovery. There were 12-steps classes, AA meetings, long experiences of journaling in order to discover secrets and hidden feelings. Quite a remarkable place: Hazelden.

Then, just about the time I thought that Moyers' might have overcome his interior demons, there was the so-called "slip" back into "using," and another bottom which was worst than the first. Oh, there were several more bottoms over the next years—each harder to explain, each more injurious to him and those who loved him. Go figure.

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