I regularly encounter three common myths about marriage.

1. "Once we get married, any relational problems we're experiencing will go away." In short, no they will not. Because relational problems are cyclical by nature, they do not simply vanish after the wedding day. Rather, difficulties will drop below the surface for awhile, only to rear their ugly heads at an opportune time. In combating this myth, I try to encourage each couple to think soberly and realistically about the covenant they are about to enter. Relational issues are like weeds. It's often difficult to get at the roots, so the gardeners need patience and grace. The task here is to offer premarital couples a realistic perspective along with a few tools for later use.

2. Marriage is mainly about personal happiness. As the logic goes, "The goal of my marriage is to be happy. If I'm happy, my marriage will be happy and good." Not necessarily true. God's design for marriage certainly envisions happiness; it's just not the sort ...