Leadership Journal

A coffee cup never looked so interesting.

Or so it seemed when I asked 24-year-old Rebecca what her life had been like after she graduated from our church's youth ministry.

After staring at her coffee for a few moments, Rebecca admitted, "My life after high school was really, really tough."

As a college freshman, she ventured into a "missionary dating" relationship with a guy who wasn't a Christian. They went much further physically than she ever expected. Filled with shame and regret, Rebecca plunged into depression and struggled with an eating disorder.

Those words were hard to hear, but what Rebecca said next was even harder.

"I felt so badly about what I had done. The last place I felt I could turn was to God and the church." Rebecca ran away from God and from the church just when she needed them most.

Somehow Rebecca's parents, our church, and its leaders (including me) had failed her. She had graduated with a faith too weak to face the new temptations awaiting her as an emerging adult.

Our churches are filled with "Rebeccas," and filled with parents of "Rebeccas" who agonize over their children's turbulent spiritual journeys. A host of studies suggest that approximately 40 to 50 percent of kids who are part of a church or youth group will fail to stick with their faith beyond high school.

To try to understand more about the current state of both youth and the church, we at the Fuller Youth Institute studied close to 500 youth group graduates from across the U.S. during their first three years in college. Our primary goal was to identify church and family practices that build lasting faith, or what we call "sticky faith."

You might think that asking youth group alumni to define what it means to "be a Christian" would be a pretty straightforward question—but you'd be wrong.

Thirty-five percent of students didn't mention Jesus at all. The most dominant theme in college students' descriptions of being a Christian was that it means to "love others." Certainly, that is a major theme of Jesus' teaching. But even most atheists think it's a good idea to love other people. And they are right. It is. But true faith demands a bigger, Jesus-centered view of the gospel.

We found that many young people view the gospel like a jacket; they can put it on or take it off, based on what they feel like doing in any particular situation. If they're going to church or hanging out with Christians, they put on their "Jesus Jacket." If they're headed to a party or drifting toward spiritual apathy, they toss the Jesus Jacket into a corner.

One of the central reasons students put their faith aside is because they have a flawed understanding of the Christian life. They've picked up the idea from their parents and churches that following Jesus means merely following a list of "Do's" and "Don'ts." For example:

Do … go to church and youth group, read your Bible, pray, give money, share your faith, get good grades, respect elders, go on mission trips, and be a good kid.

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