I have a friend who serves as the youth minister at a small denominational church. One of the families in the church adopted an infant (I'll call him Steven) with special needs that resulted from his birth-mother's substance abuse. By all accounts Steven is extremely sweet and good natured, but he is also hyper, reckless, and immature. He has a hard time staying still or keeping focused for any length of time. So far he's been able to advance along with children his age academically, but has failed to keep pace with his peers socially or emotionally.

When Steven first arrived, the church showered his parents with congratulations and support. As most churches do, they provided meals for a week or two. Unfortunately, this is pretty much where their care for Steven and his family ended. Everyone agreed that Steven's parents were wonderful to take him in, saints even. Yet by making Steven's parents out to be saints, they seemed to excuse themselves from the responsibility to help them raise ...