My New View of God
October 1, 1996
Within a three-month period, Marshall and Susan Shelley saw two of their
children die. In November 1991, son Toby succumbed to birth defects after
two minutes of life. Then in February 1992, daughter Mandy, almost 2, died
of pneumonia. As a companion to the preceding article, Marshall,
LEADERSHIP's senior editor, reflects on how these losses have
affected his relationship with God.
After losing two children, and after four years of reflection, I see some
aspects of God's character in much sharper focus than before, while others
are still behind a glass dimly. Serving God demands more
I hadn't realized the cost of discipleship. God assigns some people
incredibly tough situations.
Since our two children died, I can't help but pause, and wince, each time
I read the Bible and see afresh the ordeals children faced, often at the
hand of God. Sometimes his ways are severe.
In Genesis, at God's direction, Ishmael and his mother are evicted from their
home into the desert. Young Isaac is bound as a human sacrifice (though soon
released). In Exodus, all firstborn sons of the Egyptians are slain by the
death angel. Job's children (though probably grown children) are killed in
Satan's test, sanctioned by God.
And this doesn't include the children killed in God's broader judgments,
such as the flood of Noah's day, the destruction of Sodom, or the conquest
of Canaan.
In the story of David and Bathsheba, the adultery and the murder of Uriah
no longer hold much interest for me-simply more evidence of human sinfulness.
Now I fixate on God's treatment of the two sons produced by David and Bathsheba's
union-one, a nameless son, died as God's judgment on David's sin; the second,
Jedidiah (meaning "loved by God"), ...
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