The official newsletter of Marriage Partnership magazine Thursday, May 15, 2008
It's just a name. But dare to utter "Mr. Darcy" to a group of women and be prepared for some serious swooning. That simple name inspires the type of sighing and squealing more often associated with a teenage heartthrob than an uptight—and fictional—19th century hero. Nevertheless, modern-day women consistently rate Fitzwilliam Darcy, the romantic hero of Jane Austen's beloved Pride and Prejudice, their favorite fictional romantic icon.
All sorts of women fall for Mr. Darcy. Many get caught up in the beautiful words Darcy speaks and the chivalrous way he behaves, probably because it stands in such contrast to the way 21st century men act. That frustrating gap between the flowery romance of novels and the practical love of real life can lead to dissatisfaction with how men, especially husbands, express themselves. For Ashleigh Kittle Slater, seeing Mr. Darcy on the big screen made her unhappy with her husband's version of romance. But after searching, she realized the evidence of her husband's love wasn't in some fancy words.
- If one spouse had a difficult childhood, that history deeply impacts the marriage. Jim Daly, the President and CEO of Focus on the Family, and his wife, Jean, have had to face some of those challenges as a result of Jim's rocky upbringing. We have a "Snapshot" of their life.
- If you and your spouse differ when it comes to financial priorities, we need to hear from you! What things do you think it's important to spend money on, but your spouse would rather scrimp? More importantly, how have you worked out those differences? Tell us about it, and be sure to include your name, your spouse's name, and your state of residence.
At MarriagePartnership.com, we have tips and articles, plus more stories of real couples navigating marriage together. May all our resources help you delight in your own love story.
Blessings,

Elizabeth Diffin
for Marriage Partnership
To reply to this newsletter: marriage@christianitytoday.com
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EVER AFTER / SPIRITUALITY Thanks a Lot, Jane Austen One trip to the movies had me wondering, Where's the love? the romance? by Ashleigh Kittle Slater
I was completely captivated by the beauty of his words. They were tender, heartfelt, poetic. "You must know—surely you must know that it was all for you. … You have bewitched me, body and soul."
Too bad these words were written by a woman. More
SNAPSHOT Redeeming Childhood A Q&A with Focus on the Family President, Jim Daly and his wife, Jean. by Dawn Zemke
The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman identifies the five primary love languages and teaches us how to use these languages to express our love in all of our relationships. |
Sacred Marriage Your marriage is more than a sacred covenant with a spouse; it's a spiritual discipline designed to help you know God better, trust him more fully, and love him more deeply. |
Fighting For Your Prodigal Child Written by a parent of a prodigal, this course from ChristianBibleStudies.com helps parents gain practical skills, encouragement, and biblical insight. |
Conquering Disappointment
They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed.
–Psalm 22:5
Disappointment can corrode a marriage like rust eats away at a car. Any number of things—a spouse's unemployment, a chronic illness, a serious betrayal—often kill marriages.
This is where a spiritual perspective may not only help, but be essential. Faith does not deny disappointment. Some things really are awful. But look for answers we must. Dr. Paul Brand may have the best answer to this conundrum. Renowned for his work with leprosy patients, Brand responded to the question, "Where is God when it hurts?" with this: "He is in you, the one hurting, not in it, the thing that hurts."
We may find ourselves placing our hope in things: our spouse, our careers, our health. Yet these things have their limitations. Spouses, being human, will disappoint. Careers change; health fades.
But God doesn't. Ultimately, our hope is in him. It's important to remember he is in us when we hurt. It is, perhaps, even more important to remember he is also in our spouse. The couples I've observed who have come through disappointment have done so first by God's grace, and second by holding firmly to each other. They've affirmed that the "we" is stronger than the "it" of disappointment. And their marriages are better for it.
By Elizabeth Cody Newenhuyse in The Couples' Devotional Bible (Zondervan)
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How often do you and your spouse go to the movies?
- Every week
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- Whenever there's something we both want to see
- Every so often as a special treat
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- Do movies with the kids count?
Vote here, and see how your answer compares to others'.
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