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ChristianityToday.com
Marriage PartnershipChristianity Today International
The official newsletter of Marriage Partnership magazine
Thursday, May 15, 2008


 Welcome

It's just a name. But dare to utter "Mr. Darcy" to a group of women and be prepared for some serious swooning. That simple name inspires the type of sighing and squealing more often associated with a teenage heartthrob than an uptight—and fictional—19th century hero. Nevertheless, modern-day women consistently rate Fitzwilliam Darcy, the romantic hero of Jane Austen's beloved Pride and Prejudice, their favorite fictional romantic icon.

All sorts of women fall for Mr. Darcy. Many get caught up in the beautiful words Darcy speaks and the chivalrous way he behaves, probably because it stands in such contrast to the way 21st century men act. That frustrating gap between the flowery romance of novels and the practical love of real life can lead to dissatisfaction with how men, especially husbands, express themselves. For Ashleigh Kittle Slater, seeing Mr. Darcy on the big screen made her unhappy with her husband's version of romance. But after searching, she realized the evidence of her husband's love wasn't in some fancy words.

  • If one spouse had a difficult childhood, that history deeply impacts the marriage. Jim Daly, the President and CEO of Focus on the Family, and his wife, Jean, have had to face some of those challenges as a result of Jim's rocky upbringing. We have a "Snapshot" of their life.


  • If you and your spouse differ when it comes to financial priorities, we need to hear from you! What things do you think it's important to spend money on, but your spouse would rather scrimp? More importantly, how have you worked out those differences? Tell us about it, and be sure to include your name, your spouse's name, and your state of residence.


At MarriagePartnership.com, we have tips and articles, plus more stories of real couples navigating marriage together. May all our resources help you delight in your own love story.

Blessings,
Elizabeth Diffin
Elizabeth Diffin
for Marriage Partnership


To reply to this newsletter: marriage@christianitytoday.com

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 Featured Marriage Article

Thanks a Lot, Jane AustenEVER AFTER / SPIRITUALITY
Thanks a Lot, Jane Austen
One trip to the movies had me wondering, Where's the love? the romance?


I was completely captivated by the beauty of his words. They were tender, heartfelt, poetic. "You must know—surely you must know that it was all for you. … You have bewitched me, body and soul."

Too bad these words were written by a woman. More …


 More Articles on the Marriage Channel

SNAPSHOT
Redeeming Childhood
A Q&A with Focus on the Family President, Jim Daly and his wife, Jean.


 Good Buys

Good BuyThe Five Love Languages
Gary Chapman identifies the five primary love languages and teaches us how to use these languages to express our love in all of our relationships.
Good BuySacred Marriage
Your marriage is more than a sacred covenant with a spouse; it's a spiritual discipline designed to help you know God better, trust him more fully, and love him more deeply.
Good BuyBelle and the Beast: A Christian Romance, DVD
In an effort to save her father's job, Belle Watson agrees to work for a cold-hearted man people have nicknamed "the Beast." Will she find the man within the Beast?
Buy NowFighting For Your Prodigal Child
Written by a parent of a prodigal, this course from ChristianBibleStudies.com helps parents gain practical skills, encouragement, and biblical insight.
In Association with Christianbook.com
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 Quick Tips

Conquering Disappointment

They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed.
–Psalm 22:5

Disappointment can corrode a marriage like rust eats away at a car. Any number of things—a spouse's unemployment, a chronic illness, a serious betrayal—often kill marriages.

This is where a spiritual perspective may not only help, but be essential. Faith does not deny disappointment. Some things really are awful. But look for answers we must. Dr. Paul Brand may have the best answer to this conundrum. Renowned for his work with leprosy patients, Brand responded to the question, "Where is God when it hurts?" with this: "He is in you, the one hurting, not in it, the thing that hurts."

We may find ourselves placing our hope in things: our spouse, our careers, our health. Yet these things have their limitations. Spouses, being human, will disappoint. Careers change; health fades.

But God doesn't. Ultimately, our hope is in him. It's important to remember he is in us when we hurt. It is, perhaps, even more important to remember he is also in our spouse. The couples I've observed who have come through disappointment have done so first by God's grace, and second by holding firmly to each other. They've affirmed that the "we" is stronger than the "it" of disappointment. And their marriages are better for it.

By Elizabeth Cody Newenhuyse in The Couples' Devotional Bible (Zondervan)

Explore More on the Marriage Channel:
Better Sex |Communication | Emotions | Family Concerns | Health  Home | Help & Healing | Money | Spirituality | Spiritual Help

Columns:
Real Sex | Couple Counsel | The Early Years |




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 This Week's Poll
How often do you and your spouse go to the movies?
  • Every week
  • About once a month
  • Whenever there's something we both want to see
  • Every so often as a special treat
  • Rarely
  • Never
  • Do movies with the kids count?
Vote here, and see how your answer compares to others'.

 Results of Last Week's Poll
Which of these birds does your communication style resemble?
  • Dove: 36%
  • Owl: 27%
  • Hawk: 19%
  • Ostrich: 18%
Total votes: 229

 Most-Read Articles of the Week
Thanks For a Whole Lot of Nothings
My gratitude for everyday actions improved our opinions of each other.

Fowl Play!
These 4 communication styles are for the birds.

Christian Sex Rules
A guide to what's allowed in the bedroom.

Grate Expectations
Was a swanky dinner by a fireplace too much to ask?

The Most (Unusual) Romantic Things
Twenty ways to spice up your intimacy.

  New Articles from
  Today's Christian Woman magazine
Talk the Walk
Making the most of multitasking.

Sapphira: A Fallen Woman
Given a chance to repent, she chose poorly.

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Children: Family Change Agents
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