The official newsletter of Marriage Partnership magazine
Thursday, November 1, 2007
It's a phrase we hear throughout life, whether we're facing candles on a birthday cake, spying a shooting star, or blowing away a dandelion's fluff:
"Make a wish."
If you're anything like me, your unspoken wish is often the one thing that—if it came true—would make everything else seem truly perfect.
When it comes to marriage, those little wishes ("If only he'd be more romantic…" or "I wish she'd stop being so emotional…") can be harmful, if they breed discontent or create barriers between spouses. But we have some practical suggestions for helping make those marital dreams come true. Keep reading for the steps you need to know before tackling your wish list.
- If your wishes tend to focus on bedroom activities, check out our "Real Sex" column. This time, our columnists answer questions on giving pointers, fantasizing and dressing up, and initiating sex.
- One of our readers wished for peace and quiet after work, but her husband wanted to talk. Take a look at "Quick Tips" for the creative way they handled the situation, and then tell us if you've ever instituted a "code word" in your marriage.
Be sure to stop by MarriagePartnership.com for more great ideas and tips on how to make your marriage everything you wish it could be—with God's help.
Blessings,
Elizabeth Diffin
for Marriage Partnership
To reply to this newsletter: marriage@christianitytoday.com
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 24/7 / HELP & HEALING / COMMUNICATION
Wishful Thinking?
Turning your "if onlys" into reality.
by Gary D. Chapman
Most couples I encounter in my counseling office have dreams of how wonderful their marriage would be if only… The if only statements almost always focus on things they wish their spouse would change.
More …
REAL SEX
"Giving Pointers"
Also: "Playing Dress Up?" "Initiating Sex"
by Michael Sytsma and Debra Taylor
 Love and Respect
Without love from him, she reacts without respect. And
without respect from her, he reacts without love. Learn
to break this cycle and live together as God intended.
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 The Nativity Story, DVD
Witness the struggles and joys of the Holy Family—and
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 Public, Christian, or Home School?
Use this ChristianBibleStudies.com guide to help you determine which educational path is best for your child. Learn how this decision is just one part of God's design for your child's life. |
 If Only He Knew
This was the first book Gary Smalley wrote on challenging men to understand the needs of women. He gives ten simple steps to strengthen any relationship with a woman and to understand their emotions. |
Code Word: Quiet!
When Jennifer and I got married, I was in graduate school and she was teaching middle school. She'd come home exhausted, yearning for peace and quiet. But a day of only books for company left me bubbling with enthusiastic chatter about things such as the Italian unification process. Partway through my debriefing, Jennifer would blurt out, "Be quiet! You're talking too much and I'm not interested in that stuff." Needless to say, she was feeling frustrated, and I was hurt.
Then I had an inspiration — a code word. If my stories were dragging on, saying the code word would allow Jennifer to communicate in a more gentle, less abrasive manner that she needed a break. Since to Jennifer my stories seemed endless and they'd definitely become divisive, I chose Vietnam as our word.
Over dinner a few nights later, I was recounting innumerable details about American foreign policy when Jennifer sighed heavily, put down her fork, and looked at me. Seeing Vietnam on the tip of her tongue, I quickly stopped talking. After a few minutes we began to chat about the upcoming weekend. Success! Since that night our code word has given us many peaceful dinnertime conversations.
—Preston Cosgrove
Marriage Connection
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Have you ever used a code word to send a message to your spouse?
Vote here, and see how your answer compares to others'.
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What is your favorite spiritual activity to participate in with your spouse?
- Attending church: 29%
- Discussing spiritual things: 27%
- Serving in a ministry: 19%
- Prayer: 13%
- Bible reading: 6%
- Other: 6%
Total votes: 534
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