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| The Official Newsletter of MOMSense Tuesday, June 19, 2007
 Tears were streaming down my face as I videotaped my son on stage with his kindergarten class during their graduation program. Twenty-five "kindergrads" were singing and signing, "I see trees of green, red roses, too, / I see them bloom for me and for you, / And I think to myself, What a wonderful world."My son calls my bouts of crying while smiling "happy/sad tears." According to his definition, "happy tears" are 5–20 tears that fall out of your eyes while you're smiling. "Sad tears" keep flowing down, down, down—at least 40 drops strong with no smiles. Following the program, I was still dabbing my eyes and asked one of the teachers, "When do the tears stop?" "Never," she replied. "They last for a lifetime." In her column, "When Mommies Cry," Carol Kuykendall talks about how some moms show their feelings openly while others cry in private. But hiding our tears can become a habit. She says, "If I were to do my mothering years over again, I probably wouldn't be so careful to hide my tears." Moms also can feel like crying when they've run out of gas and need rest. Barb Vogelgesang is a busy mom of four active children and knows the importance of having a personal care plan. She shares her tips for staying refueled in "Mom Care." Also in this issue:
 Mary Darr Editor, MOMSense magazine MOPS International, Inc. To reply to this newsletter: parenting@christianitytoday.com advertisement
 MENTOR MOMWhen Mommies Cry The reality of sharing your feelings with your kids and hiding your tears. I had a major meltdown last week. I should have known it was coming. I'd been accumulating a bunch of stuff worth crying about for a quite awhile. Then early that morning, I got up to let our 10-week-old puppy out and stepped right into a squishy pile of poop. Barefoot. | more |
 She Doesn't Care About OthersQ. Recently, my 10-year-old daughter's teacher told me my child has been joining other classmates in making fun of a new student. She's never been uncaring toward someone before! I'm so shocked, I'm not sure how to deal with her behavior at home in order to make it stop. What can I do? A. I hate to admit I can actually relate to your daughter. And I can relate to her classmate as well. In fact, most of us have probably felt "picked on" before, and most of us have also unkindly pointed fingers at others. So while your daughter certainly isn't justified in her actions, she's struggling with something we all do. And, like her, we all need to develop an attitude of care for others. Helping your daughter cultivate kindness, however, won't be as simple as explaining why teasing is wrong and telling her to stop. It'll take a little more work than that. And it'll have to start with you. First, take a hard look at interactions in your own family. Are you teaching your children how to care for others? Are family members allowed to tease or make fun of each other—even in jest? Do you joke about one another? Do you criticize people when they're not around? Realize your daughter will imitate whatever she regularly sees modeled. But if you honestly believe she's not learning her attitude from home, then think about other influences in her life. What do the television shows and movies she watches portray? And a harder question: What do the friends she has value? Since your daughter wasn't the only one making fun of the student, she most likely acted with the encouragement of her companions. You need to help her see the importance of choosing to spend time with and learn from the right kind of people. Last, consider how you and your family respond to others' needs—whether physical, emotional, or spiritual. Do you provide opportunities for your daughter to interact caringly with people? Do you yourself seek out chances to care for others? You will teach your daughter to value others as you model this attitude in your own everyday life. You'll also help her follow the biblical command of Romans 12:10: "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." In doing this, she'll become more and more like Christ—the desired goal of all our parenting. If you'd like more ideas on the subject, read through "Raise Caring Kids," a new resource from the TodaysChristianWomanStore.com. There you'll find the advice you're seeking and the company of parents who can relate. And you'll experience blessing as you watch your daughter follow in Jesus' footsteps, with you right beside her. Blessings,  Janine Petry Managing Editor, Women's and Family Resources Christianity Today International P.S. I'd love to hear from you! Send your questions or comments to ResourcefulMom@christianitytoday.com. Click here for a FREE downloadable Bible study from the ChristianParentingTodayStore.com.
Self-Help Expectations too high? Change your attitude. Mom Care Keep up your daily mom maintenance so you don't run out of gas. This Is the Place! Every mom should have a hideout. A Place to Belong A Teen MOPS Group helps young moms build their confidence.
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