Hey Dad,

Well, we're making progress on the Familyman-mobile III. Last weekend, Merle, the Amish carpet-laying guy, spent a day-and-a-half laying the floor coverings. So far, we've torn out tons of stuff, re-wallpapered, installed the triple bunk bed, replaced or painted the cabinet hardware, pulled up and replaced the flooring, and painted the shower stall trim.

To top it off, even the clear, acrylic door handle on the outside of the coach now glows. Oooh! That's right, my son Ben (14) removed the handle and found that an itty-bitty bulb had burned out. We jumped in the car, ran to NAPA, replaced the bulb, and ba-da-bing, it worked. Just the way I like it: quick, easy fix!

If only my wife were as easy to fix as an RV. It's been a hard week on the home front. It could be because my wife is pregnant and getting larger by the day, making it harder for her to breathe and move. Her energy level is almost non-existent. That could be the reason for her gloominess—or it could be because she's married to me, and often I don't spend as much time caring for her as I do my RV (ouch!).

Have I mentioned how easy RVs are to fix? I mean, you take something apart, fix it, and then it works for another 5 to 10 years. Wives aren't like that. They need you to talk to them. And by talking I don't mean, "So how are things … I see … Weah, well, hope things work out … I'm going out to work on the RV now."

Oh, no. Wives need real talk: the I-need-you-to-listen-and-empathize kind of talk.

Not to toot my own horn, but I can be that kind of husband for one night. But if the next day brings the same gloominess, I want to say, "Didn't I fix you last night? Didn't we talk about that? Didn't I empathize—kind of?"

Henry Higgins of My Fair Lady had it so right when he said, "Why can't a woman be more like an RV?" (or something close to that). But the truth is—they're not. They don't need fixed; they need understanding. They don't always need solutions; sometimes they just need to know that we care. They don't need a husband who tries once and then moves on; they need a man who will sit and talk night after night if that's what it takes.

Is that easy? No way. But I can do it … and so can you.

So, Dad, maybe your wife needs you to sit down beside her tonight and say, "So tell me what you are feeling", and you need to be ready to listen.

You 'da Dad,

© 2007 Todd Wilson. Used by permission.

[10/19/07]

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