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Men of Integrity, January/February 2002
Fight Fair
Theme for this Week: Clearing the Air
Tuesday, January 15
Key Bible Verse: Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful … (Ephesians 4:29). Bonus Reading: Proverbs 15:1, 4, 23, 28
Are you steamed at your sweetie pie? Before you pitch in and give her a piece of your mind, you'd better read five rules of combat, offered by Ben Young and Samuel Adams in their book, The 10 Commandments of Dating.
Here are their "fair-fighting tactics" for dealing with conflict:
1. Dial Down. "Don't buy in to the myth that states you should 'seize the moment' while you are good and angry to discuss your concerns," they say. "Take time out to consider what you really need to express, and the most respectful way to express it to your partner."
2. Set the Tone. Approach your partner carefully and with gentleness. When you do this, you demonstrate a willingness to interact in a nonthreatening way, and you enhance the communication process.
3. Shut Up and Listen. Work to understand what your partner is saying rather than to be understood.
4. Use "I" Statements. Using "I" statements keeps you from criticizing, labeling, accusing, and attacking.
5. Negotiate and Compromise. Remember, you are a team. Learn to work the problem, not each other.
—New Man
My Response: The tactic I most need to adopt in disputes with my wife is …
Thought to Apply: Figure out what went wrong, not who was wrong, when communication breaks down.
—Tom Nash (educator)
Adapted from: New Man (1-2/00) by permission.
Copyright © 2002 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
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January/February 2002, Vol. 5, No. 1
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Prayer for the Week |
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Dear Father, thank You for revealing Yourself to me. Now help me to constructively express myself to those I love.
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