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Q. How can I really satisfy my wife?

A. When Solomon and his bride celebrated the joy of each other's love [in the Song of Songs], his bride's speeches show that she felt satisfied and protected.

What we need today is a group of Christian men who know how to satisfy their wives. Now, when most men hear the word satisfy, they think sex. And some men will brag about how many women they can satisfy. But any man who talks that way doesn't know what he's talking about. A real man is one who can commit himself to his wife and love her with a steady commitment so that after 15, 20, 30, or 50 years, his wife can still say, "I'm satisfied."

Paul explained the way to do this is to love your wife the way you love your own body (Ephesians 5:28). So just as a man works out to make his body look good and does things to satisfy his needs, he's to help his wife look good externally and feel fulfilled and satisfied. There are too many dissatisfied wives today because there are too many unsatisfying husbands.

Changing this situation starts with you, my fellow husband. It has nothing to do with what your wife does in return. We're talking about biblical love here, which loves—period. A man who is determined to satisfy his wife won't stop even if his efforts are not met with equal love.

How can I tell how I'm doing as a satisfier?

The best way is to ask your wife. Ask her to specifically pinpoint areas where you're doing well, as well as areas where you can improve.

Tony Evans, a Dallas pastor, has co-authored Seasons of Love with his wife, Lois.

Adapted from: Seasons of Love (Word, 1998) by permission.

Copyright © 2002 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

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Prayer for the Week

Father, help me to please You by moving beyond preoccupation with my own needs to meeting those of my wife.

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