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Q. How do you deal with loss in your life?

A. I've learned that I can't control my circumstance, but I can control my response. Realizing this puts a major building block in place to rebuild the wounds of loss. The key is how I respond over time. Most of us can't control our immediate responses to loss. It takes time to reflect on them, to understand our feelings about them, and to reorder our thinking.

How do I respond properly?

1. We choose to believe that although God is all knowing and all controlling, He never places us in circumstances without purpose and design.
   
   
2. We choose to believe that everything we have is from God.
   
   
3. We choose to acknowledge our frailty and humanity.
   
   
4. We choose to examine whether the things that give us motivation and confidence are really worthwhile. Are we depending on position, identity, and influence for our self-worth?
   
   
5. We choose to rebuild our lives on a better foundation. That foundation is expressed by Paul: "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection" (Philippians 3:10, NIV). Desire to please and serve God, not ourselves, becomes our motive. To live for family and others, not ourselves.
   
   

We grow in our inner person as we choose to respond properly. We must not allow temporal losses to detour us from becoming the best we can be in Christ. That's the unseen danger—that we fail to gain strength in loss, respond with a learner's spirit, and grow deeper in true character.

Jerry White, president of The Navigators, is the author of Dangers Men Face.

Adapted from: Dangers Men Face (NavPress, 1997) by permission.

Copyright © 2002 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

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Prayer for the Week

Wise Father, keep me from getting sidetracked by setbacks. Instead, prod me to grow by overcoming them.

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