Cut the Fuse
Theme of the Week: Kiss and Make Up
Monday, February 10, 2003
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Key Bible Verse: A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger (Proverbs 15:1). Bonus Reading:Proverbs 12:16; 15:18; 26:20-21
Periodically your wife will say things that upset and disappoint you. Words such as "You are so insensitive!" or "You always have to have it your way."
When your wife ignites the conversation, you have a choice. You can react and shorten the fuse, or you can diffuse the situation. At times, the best way to defuse a conflict is to turn the focus of the conversation. When your wife launches a verbal grenade, it usually has a compliment embedded in it.
One day Pam and I were talking about a project we were trying to get done at home and she said, "Bill, you are so picky." To say that I enjoyed that comment would be a bold-faced lie, but instead of getting angry it occurred to me to say, "I wouldn't have married you if I wasn't so picky."
Perhaps when my wife says, "You are impossible," I could start humming the theme to Mission Impossible.
Lest you confuse this with sarcasm, remember [today's Key Bible Verse]. These attempts to cut the hot lead before the conversation explodes won't work every time, but sometimes it's all the discussion needs to remind you that you're in love.
—Bill & Pam Farrel in Men Are Like Waffles—Women Are Like Spaghetti
My Response: One common charge I could defuse is. …
Thought to Apply: Many times what cannot be refuted by arguments can be parried by laughter.
—Desiderius Erasmus (Dutch scholar, 16th century)
Adapted from Each for the Other (Baker, 1998) by permission.
Copyright © 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
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Lord, when we are wrong make us willing to change, and when we are right, make us easy to live with. —Peter Marshall
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