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Q. What about those people I just can't stand?

A. I used to think of them as one more proof of universal depravity—just a bit more "fallen" than the rest of us. But I've gradually come to realize that God actually sends these hard-to-live-with people our way for a positive purpose. They're grace-builders, sent to make us better people. Without them, life would be easier but we'd be spiritually flabby. Because of them we're forced to grow in areas that would otherwise remain undeveloped for God.

So how should I treat someone who gets on my nerves?

There are four ways we often deal with difficult people:

We ignore them. We do this by shutting the door, leaving the room, hanging up the phone, or telling our secretary not to let Mr. Jones know we are in the office today. We intimidate them, using violence and the threat of violence, harsh language, half truths, body language, and a myriad of ugly facial expressions to keep people in line and get our own way.

We argue with them. I personally find this a major temptation since I love a good argument.

We subtly destroy them by attacking them behind their backs, passing along bits of gossip, leaking confidential information, reporting on their moral failures, and implying they've done wrong when we have no proof.

Against all this we have the example of Jesus, who always spoke the truth with love. He never intimidated or threatened, never ignored difficult people. Follow His example and you can't go wrong.

Ray Pritchard pastors Calvary Memorial Church, Oak Park, Illinois.

Adapted from Something New Under the Sun (Moody Press, Moody Bible Institute, 1998) by permission.

Copyright © 2002 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.

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Prayer for the Week

Lord, help me to serve someone else by caring about him.

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