Lust Limiter
Theme of the Week: Become a Safe Male
Jay Kesler
Friday, March 28, 2003
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Key Bible Verse: Treat the older women as you would your mother, and treat the younger women with all purity as your own sisters (1 Timothy 5:2). Bonus Reading:Titus 1:15-16
After 12 years of pastoring a church, it dawned on me that I'd never had a sexual thought about any woman in the congregation. That amazed me, because I'm a sexual being like anyone else. I notice when I see a beautiful woman on the street. I figured out the reason was because I knew each woman was dear to a husband, children, parents, and friends whom I knew and cared for. The only way you can turn people into objects to prey on is to mentally get them out of context. Conversely, if you think of them in context, you're not nearly so tempted to lust.
Suppose that driving down the street I see a knock-out teenager dressed to draw attention. My automatic response now is to contextualize her, to say to myself, "She's about the age of my daughter. I wonder who her parents are and how she gets along with them?" Suddenly the sexual part disappears.
Now I'm a college official on a campus with its share of beautiful coeds. I've noticed them—I'm not blind—but I can honestly say I don't think of them as a sexual turn-on. To me, they're all someone's daughters and sisters.
—Jay Kesler in Being Holy, Being Human
My Response: Since thinking of a woman as a depersonalized object dishonors the Creator, I'll …
Thought to Apply: A safe male doesn't harbor sexual fantasies about female friends or colleagues.
—Stan Thornburg
Adapted from Being Holy, Being Human (Bethany, 1994) by permission.
Copyright © 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.
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Lord, show me what changes I need to make to become a male safe for all females created in Your image.
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