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Q. What do I need to pay attention to if I'm to affair-proof my marriage?

A. Your work, your entertainment, and your friends. Many affairs are spawned in the office. Rule out meetings or luncheons that involve just one woman. And avoid the magazines and entertainment that lower inhibitions.

How could I be setting myself up for a fall because of my friends?

In a society where flirtation is the norm and an affair is accepted behavior, you must choose and cultivate friends carefully. Friends who treat marital infidelity lightly or tell suggestive jokes and stories are really enemies of your marriage. Avoid them.

Since many affairs take place between close friends—couples who have had strong friendships together—loose sex talk breaks down the protective walls, piques the curiosity, and encourages fantasies. The more open and transparent the friendship, the more necessary to keep conversation on a high level.

Without appearing self-righteous or preachy, you can find ways to let your friends know that you consider fidelity to be very important. And, of course, your friends must see and hear that you admire, appreciate, and love your spouse.

When anything is said in conversation that in any way makes light of marriage, you should respond with something positive about your own relationship. Don't let the atmosphere remain poisoned with the doubts and negativism that give marriage bad press. Speak up for marriage—for your marriage.

—J. Allan Petersen, a family life specialist, wrote The Myth of the Greener Grass.

Adapted from The Myth of the Greener Grass (Tyndale, 1987, 1991) by permission.

Prayer for the Week

Lord, give me fierce determination to protect my marriage—and tender love to makes it a joy.

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