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Key Bible Verse: Don't make your children angry … Rather, bring them up with discipline and instruction (Ephesians 6:4). Bonus Reading:Proverbs 13:1

Some teenagers win confrontations with their parents by getting them into arguments. They blame, they condemn. Stay out of arguments. You're the adult; act like one.

When Tim took his father's car without asking permission (again), his dad couldn't ignore the problem. He told Tim he wanted to talk to him. They sat down in the living room, away from Tim's younger brother and sister. Soon after his dad began, Tim gave lots of excuses, such as, "But I needed the car, and you weren't here. You're never here when I need you."

In the past, Tim's dad got caught up in defending himself for his work schedule and travel for his company. No, he certainly wasn't there every minute of every day, and Tim often used that as leverage to blame his dad for his own bad decisions. This time, Tim's dad didn't take the bait. Instead, he responded, using "I messages": "Son, I feel hurt when you take things of mine without asking. I want to have a terrific relationship with you, but there's a problem. I want you to ask me before you take the car. Every time. No exceptions. If you take it again without asking, I will withhold it from you for two weeks. Is that clear to you?"

—Rodney Gage in We Can Work It Out

My Response: I'll practice using "I messages" when there's a conflict.

Thought to Apply: Everyone believes in his youth that the world really began with him, and that all merely exist for his sake.

—Johann von Goethe (German poet)

Adapted from We Can Work It Out (Broadman & Holman, 2002) by permission.

Copyright © 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

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Prayer for the Week

Heavenly Father, give me the wisdom and resolve to father my teens for their long-term benefit.

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