Bail-out
Theme of the Week: Tough Love for Teens
Scott Larson
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
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Key Bible Verse: If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don't love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them (Proverbs 13:24). Bonus Reading:Proverbs 23:13
When he was 17, Shawn lived with us for a year after his release from a juvenile jail. He was doing fairly well until his father began intervening. His dad loved Shawn dearly, but carried tremendous guilt for years of abandoning his son for alcohol. Now sober, he was trying to make up for lost time. Shawn, like most kids, knew how to play his dad with precision. Because Shawn's father feared that telling his son "no" would make his son feel like he was letting him down again, he fell into the trap of enabling Shawn's destructive behavior.
Soon after moving in with us, Shawn got two speeding tickets. The second one carried a fine of $300, and the court was threatening to take away his license if he didn't pay. Shawn called his dad, who bailed him out. A few months later, when Shawn got into an accident and didn't have the $500 deductible to get his car fixed, his dad paid for that as well.
Since Shawn was never forced to suffer or take responsibility for his actions, he missed out on learning from his mistakes. Today, at 24, Shawn is still being bailed out by his dad. As a result, he's matured very little.
—Scott Larson in When Teens Stray
My Response: Could I be helping my child get away with acting irresponsibly?
Thought to Apply: You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
—bumper sticker
Adapted from When Teens Stray (Servant, 2002) by permission.
Copyright © 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.
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Heavenly Father, give me the wisdom and resolve to father my teens for their long-term benefit.
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