Blast or Bless?
Theme of the Week: A Different Way to Lead
Monday, September 15, 2003
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Key Bible Verses: I could demand it … but because of our love, I prefer just to ask you (Philemon 8-9). Bonus Reading:Philemon 1-22
The other big change in Larry's life came one day a few years ago. His wife honestly confessed that she was really hurting in their marriage. "Did she try to scare the 'hell' out of you?" I asked.
"Not at all," Larry said reflectively. "In fact, it was her willingness to admit her part in our problems that opened me up to getting help together. And now we've got a better marriage."
Reviewing how change had occurred in his own life drained the anger Larry was feeling and gave him a desire to encourage the man he'd wanted to blast.
A few weeks ago, another friend of mine told me, "My motto for people has always been, 'If you screw up, you're history.' With that I could usually keep people in line. I never got close to anyone, but most of the time I got what I demanded. What I didn't want was a wife who was frightened of me, but that's exactly what happened. Talk about screwing up! I almost crushed a lovely person!"
When we use fear to get what we want, we end up with what we don't want—acquiescence, compliance, and lots of pent-up anger in the people we want to motivate.
—Lloyd Ogilvie in Facing the Future Without Fear
My Response: I'll commit to motivate people with love rather than manipulate them with fear.
Thought to Apply: You can build a throne with bayonets, but you can't sit on it for long.
—Boris Yeltsin (former president of Russia)
Adapted from Facing the Future Without Fear (Servant, 1999, 2002) by permission.
Copyright © 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.
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Lord Jesus, I want the way I lead others to reflect Your example.
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