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Q. How has friendship accountability worked for you, Jim?

A. I was wrestling with a tricky contractual situation. I'd signed a contract to perform a particular service and, before that service was completed, was asked by a competing company to perform a similar service. Nothing contractually kept me from going ahead. But when the first company became aware of it, officials there were upset that I'd even entertain the thought of working for a competing company while my contract with them remained in effect. True, they said, there was nothing in writing, but this was a matter of integrity.

Was it a matter of integrity? I was unsure. I'd never been through, heard of, or read about a similar experience. Quickly I sat down and dialed up my friend Pete. I'd known Pete for several years; he and I had worked on several work projects together. I laid out all the specifics of this contractual issue as best I could understand them.

"What's most important to me, Pete," I told him, "is that whatever I do, I do it with integrity. I know it's legal."

Pete asked penetrating questions. We went over the ins and outs of the situation. He pointed out my blind spots. For instance, he told me, "You really want to perform this other contract because it will enhance your name in the community." He helped me pull out my motives and perspectives that I hadn't, on my own, been able to see. By the time we'd finished talking, I had a better feel for the issues and was able to make a better decision.

James Osterhaus, a psychologist, wrote Bonds of Iron on forging male relationships.

Adapted from Bonds of Iron (Moody, 1994) by permission.

Copyright © 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

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Prayer for the Week

Lord, I need a serious believer to regularly challenge me to grow. Help me initiate that kind of relationship.

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