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Q. Draw the "before" picture in your life.

A. Early on in life, I decided I could rely only on myself. That seemed to be working as I married my college sweetheart and established my own business. As much as possible, I avoided group activities and working with other people. Even within my marriage I was isolated and distant.

But then my marriage unraveled, my business failed, and I ended up divorced and bankrupt. Desperate, and with no close friends, I considered suicide. That low point made me realize that being isolated wasn't the best way to live. In 1995 I allowed Jesus into my life as Lord and Savior. Two years later, at a Promise Keepers event, I heard about men's small groups for the first time. The Lord got my attention and gave me a heart for men and men's ministry.

Now paint the "after."

I joined three other new believers to form the first men's small group in our church. Not knowing what to do, we consulted Geoff Gorsuch's book Brothers! (¡Los Hermanos!). It taught us how to hold each other accountable to a higher standard of life and help each other grow in our relationship with the Lord. We met weekly in a member's home for two to three hours, depending on our needs. During the first hour we'd catch up on life and talk about any struggles. Then we'd pray for God's help with those struggles. We invested the rest of our time studying what the Bible had to say about our areas of struggle. Today, two of us are in pastoral ministry, the third is a missionary, and the fourth has made the business world his mission field.

Rod Nichols leads men's ministries at Truth and Grace Foursquare Church, Fircrest, WA.

Copyright © 2004 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
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Prayer for the Week

Thank you, Father, for the gift of true friends. Help me to value my friendships and keep them in good repair.

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