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Q. We use the term gentlemen, but do the two words really go together?

A. I wonder how many men read Ephesians 4:32—"be kind to each other, tenderhearted"—and think, That doesn't apply to me. From an early age, many men are taught not to cry, not to show feelings, or be tender toward their wife and children. There's a real need for men to be fathers who love and lead their families—who aren't afraid to be tender.

Give us a case in point.

A young woman I heard about was so desperate to reach out to her unfeeling father that she got herself arrested for shoplifting. That didn't work, so she decided to stop eating. She developed anorexia and, later, a brain tumor that the doctors said was caused in part by her undernourished condition.

"I was lying in my hospital bed near death with all kinds of tubes coming out of my body when my father finally came to see me," the woman recalled. "We talked for about an hour; then he got up to leave. As he opened my hospital door, I guess I just went berserk. I began to scream, 'You just can't say it, can you?'" She screamed even louder, "I'm going to die and you still can't say it!"

Her father said, "Say what?"

"I love you," she said.

He finally broke down and began to weep. He moved to her bedside and through his tears said those words the young woman needed to hear so desperately.

Fathers need to be tender. Their hearts need to be knitted to their children's souls.

Dennis Rainey leads the Campus Crusade for Christ FamilyLife ministry.

Adapted from Moments Together for Parents (Regal, 2003) by permission.

Prayer for the Week

Heavenly Father, help me to model Your tender love to my own children.

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