Which of the following are similar to the ways you've served Christ in your family? [check all that apply]
• Taught your kids to see God's glory in nature
• Washed the dishes without being asked
• Played a board game with your kids
• Encouraged your wife to finish her master's degree
• Attended a child's open house at school
• Worked fewer hours to be with your family
• Set an example of a godly prayer life for your children
• Held a crying child
• Swung on the tire swing with your daughter
• Told your wife why you're still in love with her
• Told your son he's got what it takes
• Coached soccer
• Let you child correct you now and then
• Fixed the vacuum cleaner
• Taught your sons to ride a bike
• Listened patiently to a complaint of your wife
• Taped your child's artwork to your office wall
• Admitted to your kids that you were wrong
• Told your children how Christ entered your life
• Cleaned up vomit
• Taught your children to love books
• Been romantic without expecting sex
• Told your daughter she's smart/beautiful
• Set standards for your kids and stuck to them
• Dealt graciously with a busybody neighbor
• Peeled carrots
• Watched movies together
Feel the Pain Theme of the Week: The Sensuality Snare Thursday, March 25, 2004
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Men of IntegrityMarch/April 2004Feel the PainTheme of the Week: The Sensuality SnareThursday, March 2572
Key Bible Verse: Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief (James 4:9). Bonus Reading:James 4:7–10
A young seminarian, married just a few years, shared with me his lapse into pornography. He'd developed a habit before marriage, but early on in his marriage he'd avoided this behavior. After a couple of years, however, he again gave in to it. Then he shared his lapse with his wife.
Some counselors say telling your wife is unwise. But keeping it secret from the one who can most help you, may be spiritualized hiding. Does telling yourself you're avoiding burdening her with your struggle allow you to continue looking at pictures of naked women, deceiving yourself with the promise that "this is going to be the last time"?
My friend saw the horror on his wife's face. He experienced her feelings of betrayal, her sense of hurt. His wife's countenance was an invitation to mourn; he accepted. He was covered with shame.
"When I think about pornography," he said, "I think about how much I hurt my wife. I don't want to repeat that." He's conditioned his mind to associate pornography with pain, not pleasure. If spiritual growth is truly a goal in your life, it's okay to make your sins hurt. Distress can be a powerful deterrent.
—Gary Thomas in Authentic Faith
My Response: Could I be open with my wife about this area? What does that tell me?
Thought to Apply: I no longer look solely at a particular sin's allure… . I look at what it cost me, and say, "I never want to go through that again."
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