Scrambled or Fried?
Theme of the Week: How Mutual?
Charles Sell
Friday, May 14, 2004
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Key Bible Verse: Didn't the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his (Malachi 2:15). Bonus Reading:Ephesians 5:21–33
The Hebrew word for one refers to a composite union. The "one flesh" of Scripture is more like two eggs sunny-side up than scrambled. Spouses should say, "I'll be free to be me, you'll be free to be you, and we'll work together at being us." The demands on each other permitted by the responsibilities and privileges of marriage are limited. You shouldn't tell your wife how to vote or dress, for example. Expanding your control too far treads on her individuality. Such enmeshment can involve:
- Being too helpful. Say your wife is struggling with an overeating problem. If you tried to help by monitoring her fat intake, your efforts might prevent her from acquiring self-control. If she asks you to keep her from eating desserts, decline. Instead, support her efforts at personal discipline—praying for her and praising her when she does well.
- Feeling too much. When your wife's in a pit, it won't help for you to crawl down, too. Far better to stay on top where you can help.
Marriage isn't meant to be like a three-legged race with tethered legs severely limiting each other's personal freedom. Spouses should be bonded together, not bound.
—Charles Sell in HomeLife
My Response: In what areas can I support without controlling my wife?
Thought to Apply: All love relationships are a dance in which two are sometimes coming closer together and again moving away to gain some space.
—Alan McGinnis
Adapted from HomeLife (8/03) by permission.
Copyright © 2004 Christianity Today. Click
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Thank you, God, for granting me a life partner. Help us to realize the oneness You intended for us—in spirit as well as in body.
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