Transforming Tendencies
Theme of the Week: Renovate Your Romance
Craig Dunham
Friday, February 18, 2005
 1 of 1
Key Bible Verses: Each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33). Bonus Reading: Romans 15:5-6
The heart and art of marriage boils down to love and respect. Paul assigns one directive predominantly to each partner: husband—love your wife; wife—respect your husband. His instructions point out our inherent weaknesses as men and women—where we need Jesus the most.
It's not too difficult for me to find ways to respect Megan. The bigger challenge for me is to love her, to relate to her with my whole person. Loving her means not always trying to fix her or make sense of her emotions. Likewise, while there's plenty Megan loves about me, her test is to respect me even when I make bad decisions, lash out at the kids, or struggle with work.
God knew what we needed when he offered these distinct instructions. Love frees women to respect others and obey God. Respect strengthens men to lead and love humbly. But here's the catch: You can't make your wife get her act together. Don't force her to respect you; love her in a new way, according to the gospel in your life. Wives shouldn't harangue their husbands to love them, but respect them in a new way. As we do this, we'll see transformation in our own hearts first, then in our marriages.
—Craig Dunham in TwentySomeone
My Response: How would my wife like me to love her today?
Thought to Apply: If you work at love, you will find love at work.>—PETER JACKSON (New Zealand film director)
Adapted from TwentySomeone (WaterBrook, 2003) by permission.
Copyright © 2005 by the author or Christianity Today/Men of Integrity magazine. Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity. 1 of 1
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Lord, give me a resolve to relate to my wife with Your kind of love.
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