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As co-directors of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University, Les and Leslie teach the basics of good relationships. Les is a professor of clinical psychology; Leslie is a marriage and family therapist. The Parrotts have teamed up to write several books and to host the radio broadcast "Marriage Matters." They have one son, John.

Kindness comes from small behaviors. We don't think of big donations or grand contributions as "kind." We call them "generous" or "benevolent," but it's the small things we call "kind." Kindness, for example, comes when we turn down our partner's side of the bed before crawling into it ourselves. Kindness comes when we readjust the car seat after driving so our partner doesn't have to. Or when we load the dishwasher when it's not our turn. Kindness comes from a million small behaviors that enhance the life of the one we love. That's why Kenneth Wuest's translation of Paul's love poem underscores the gentle kindness of love as "mellowing all which would have been harsh and austere."

Kindness sets aside fear that we'll be exploited. It relinquishes self-focus and is energized by the needs of another. Kindness causes us to pause from our own pursuits in order to augment somebody else's life. Once we remove kindness from a loving heart it's only a matter of time before the heart atrophies and love is lost altogether.

Adapted from Love Is … (Zondervan, 1999) by permission.

Copyright © 2005 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine. Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

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Prayer for the Week

Fill me with Your Spirit, Lord, so that Your love will overflow to others in thoughtful actions.

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