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Key Bible Verse: "Where have you put him?" he asked them. They told him, "Lord, come and see." Then Jesus wept (John 11:34-35). Bonus Reading:John 11:32-38a

Growing up, the only acceptable emotion on the football field or basketball court was anger. You could smack someone in the heat of battle. But if you got injured, you never admitted you felt pain.

In Vietnam, I lost most of my buddies in combat. One took his last breath lying in my arms. I never cried about it. I loaded broken, twisted bodies and burned flesh on helicopters and never shed a tear. When I rejoined civilian life and married, I never let Susy see the inside.

But after becoming a Christian, I learned that Jesus—the strongest man who ever lived—wept. I saw that I had real needs, and that the partner God had given me could help meet them. Then, one day, instead of bellowing in anger, frustration, and resentment, I sat down with her and said, "Honey, I've had a bad day. I really hurt." She held my head while I poured out my heart and enjoyed a good cry.

There's nothing like freeing up our emotions the way Christ did, the way God designed us to do. He created us with emotions and the means to express them. I needed to learn how. I'm thankful for a wife who became sensitive to my experiences.

—Phil Downer in Optimize Your Marriage

My Response: I'll thank God for a Savior who was "in every respect like us" (Hebrews 2:17).

Thought to Apply: I often want to cry. That is the only advantage women have over men—at least they can.—JEAN RHYS (Caribbean-born British writer)

Adapted from Optimize Your Marriage (Christian Publications, 2003) by permission.

Copyright © 2005 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

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Prayer for the Week

Thank You, Lord, for making me a complete person. Help me to embrace every part of my makeup that You created.

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