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Key Bible Verse: "Come now, let us argue this out," says the Lord ( Isaiah 1:18). Bonus Reading: Acts 19:8-10

When strongly held convictions are attacked, we're inclined to launch a heated counter-argument with one-line zingers. But as I was working on my book, Bobby, a successful insurance salesman, offered this advice: "Remind your readers of a principle I use in my business every day. I learned it from Gerry Spence."

"What's that?" I asked, wondering what a famous attorney known for his Western wardrobe and obnoxious personality could teach me.

"Spence says, 'To win an argument, you must empower the other party to continue the argument.' We think that if we can silence our opponent," Bobby continued, "we've won. But any married person knows that's not so. If you're having a disagreement, it's easy through intimidation or insult to cause your wife to disengage. But you've persuaded her of nothing, except that you're a jerk. What you want to do is encourage the other person to continue the dialogue. The longer it goes, the better your chance of eventually winning him over to your point of view."

"But how do you do that?" I asked.

"You ask questions, you respect rather than denigrate his point of view, you really listen to him, and you demonstrate genuine concern for him."

— ROBERT JEFFRESS in Hell? Yes!

My Response: How can I shift my focus from winning arguments to winning people?

Thought to Apply: One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears—by listening to them.—DEAN RUSK (diplomat & U.S. secretary of state)

Adapted from Hell? Yes! (WaterBrook, 2004) by permission.

Copyright © 2006 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine. Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

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Prayer for the Week

Please teach me, Lord, how to remain unwavering in my allegiance to what Your Word declares without coming across as arrogant.

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