Key Bible Verse: And be sure to pay attention to what you hear. The more you do this the more you will understand (Mark 4:24). Bonus Reading: Mark 4:22-25

Our attentive silence draws others to open themselves to us. Since most people long to express themselves, that's often all it takes to draw a person out and build meaningful connection. But our attentiveness mustn't be passive, like an unmoving satellite dish that absorbs only the signals strong enough to drown out the others. It must be deliberate, vigorous, discerning.

Make question-asking an art. Think in advance of questions you can ask to dig beneath trite exchanges and into meaningful discussion. View yourself as a reporter, seeking to draw out significant thoughts and experiences. You'll begin to hear not only words, but also what's being said between them.

Confirm your perceptions. Even the most discerning observer can misconstrue what he hears or sees. Simple inquiries—"You look frustrated. Are you down?"—can help clarify your perceptions. Communication experts call this "active listening." Asking for confirmation ("Do you mean … ?") or repeating back a form of what you think you heard ("So you're telling me … ?") ensures we understand what is being said and also conveys to others that we care about what they're saying.

—Jedd Medefind & Erik Lokkesmoe in The Revolutionary Communicator

My Response: To make my listening less passive, I'll try …

Thought to Apply: The most effective remedy for self-love and self-absorption is the habit of humble listening.—E. HERMAN

Adapted from The Revolutionary Communicator (Relevant Books, 2004) by permission.

Prayer for the Week

Lord, help me cultivate inner silence to hear Your voice—and what others are trying to tell me.

				Try an Issue of Men of Integrity Free! Name Street Address City/State/Zip E-mail Address No credit card required. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only. Click here for International orders. If you decide you want to keep Men of Integrity coming, honor your invoice for just $19.95 and receive five more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The trial issue is yours to keep, regardless. Give Men of Integrity as a gift Buy 1 gift subscription, get 1 FREE!

FREE Newsletter Sign up for the Men of Integrity Newsletter    RSS Feed   RSS Help