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Key Bible Verse: The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he understands how weak we are (Psalm 103:13-14). Bonus Reading:1 Samuel 16:1-13a

When my boys were growing up, I blew it when it came to communicating their worth. I'd begun rewarding soccer goals with milk shakes on the way home. Because my older son was built by God to score, it seemed like a fun, natural way to celebrate.

But my younger son has only begun to come into his own as an athlete as a high school junior. Earlier, he wasn't very competitive and ended up playing defense in every sport he tried. On the way home from a game one day as we passed McDonald's, my then seven-year-old, four-season soccer veteran son said, "I guess I'll never win a milk shake, huh, Dad?"

Ouch! All the encouragement and fatherly love I poured on him over those years couldn't undo one reality: he knew he was somehow less than his older brother because he'd never scored a goal to win a milk shake—and the future looked just as dim.

Just as bad, my older son detected the direct connection between reward and performance, and realized that to stay top dog on Dad's list he had to keep forging ahead—even at the expense of other team members.

—Chap Clark in From Father to Son

My Response: How can I convey admiration for who a child is instead of what he does?

Thought to Apply: Applaud us when we run. Console us when we fall. Cheer us when we recover.—EDMUND BURKE>

Adapted from From Father to Son (NavPress, 2002) by permission.

Copyright © 2006 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine. Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

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Prayer for the Week

Help me, Father, to make my children feel as loved and accepted by me as I know I am by You.

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