Who Said It
Frederick Buechner

"One November morning when I was ten years old," writes this author in Telling Secrets, "my father—a gentle man who was down on his luck and drank too much—got up early, opened the door to look in briefly on my younger brother and me playing a game in our room, and then went down into the garage where he turned on the engine of the family Chevy and sat down on a running board," where eventually the exhaust killed him.

What He Said
Code of Honor

"Honor your father and mother," says the Fifth Commandment. Honor them for having taken care of you before you were old enough to take care of yourself … for the sacrifices they made on your behalf … for having loved you.

But how do you honor them when, well-intentioned as they may have been, they made terrible mistakes that have shadowed your life ever since? How do you honor them when they literally, or otherwise, abandoned you? When physically, or sexually, or emotionally, they abused you?

Honor them for the pain that made them what they were. Honor them because there were times when, even at their worst, they were doing the best they knew how. Honor them for the roles they were appointed to play, because even when they played them abominably or didn't play them at all, the roles themselves are holy the way priesthood is holy, even when the priest is a scoundrel. Honor them because, however unthinkingly or irresponsibly, they gave you your life.

Adapted from Beyond Words (HarperSanFrancisco, 2004) by permission.

Prayer for the Week

Lord, help me to grasp how it is that You expect me, as a grown-up, to honor my parents.

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